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How to move out of a RUT!

Updated: Jun 30, 2022

I feel like there is a heavy collective energy at the moment. There kind of has been for the last 2.5+ yrs right! Have you noticed or experienced that heavy energy right now?

If not, I'm sure you have felt it another time. Are you feeling tired, overwhelmed, frustrated, angry even? Are you pushing through even when you're exhausted? Are you pushing down or ignoring your true feelings? Are there constant stories & inner dialogue running through your mind? . . . . . Right now, I feel like I'm emerging out of a heavy patch.

So, I want to share some of my process when moments like this happen for me. In the past I would have ignored feelings & pushed through it. Or even let them become a story about the 'thing.' Like many or us, my emotional education wasn't modelled well, not just from parents & family, but all of the ways & places that we learn from ... society in general. The past 8+ months I feel like I've been in this unusual & often uncomfortable 'in between space'. And the last 3 of those months have felt more intense again. It has been interesting! In no particular order this is what has supported me.

1) Observe without judgement or criticism. This time, unlike in the past, I've been able to sit with it all & allow it all to simply be there, without the need to fix or change anything. This feels quite revolutionary for me as someone who had a pattern of holding it in or ignoring it!

I allowed myself to sit with the immensity of it all, knowing that it will all pass in the right time. There is no need to force it to move on, there are lessons within this space, which I would miss if I didn't give it the space & attention it needed.

This feels like a new superpower!

2) Maintain the practices that make you feel good & support your physical, mental, emotional & spiritual health/fitness. Things like meditation, breathwork, movement & exercise, eating nutritious food, time in nature, sitting in the sun with my fur girl all give me a boost. They all give me so much pleasure & challenge me too. I, like everyone else, experience resistance to the things that make me feel good. This was something that I have had to be aware of & stick with it. Not in a way that was forceful, but checking in with my nervous system & doing the practice that would best serve me.

We don't do the practices that support us just when things are going well. We develop these practices & whole body resilience (mind, body, spirit) for the times that things do go a bit pear shaped. It is a commitment to self, which supports you. 3) Notice when your energy is being influenced by others (for better or worse).

If I'm not careful I can be affected by others' energy big time! This isn't a problem in my professional life, more in my personal life. I have to be very aware of protecting myself from being a sponge.

Come back to your energy, to a space that feels calm & grounded (this is where maintaining health & wellness practices above will help).

Cut the energetic cords of other people's negative energy. It isn't yours to take on & absorb. You may need to ground yourself & give yourself a pep talk before you know you are seeing certain people. Or if in the moment you notice, it can be helpful to breathe slowly & say to yourself, "This doesn't belong to me. This isn't mine". 4) You can't solve overthinking with more overthinking.

Thinking that things are shit, & overthinking the shit things, then feeling shit because you're thinking shit, isn't helpful.

As Albert Einstein said, "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we use when we created them." Notice where you are in a thinking spiral, looping on the same moment, thought or feeling. It is easy to do! Depending on your mindset & cognitive predisposition, overthinking & worrying can become addictive.

Why do you think drama series are so popular, it is addictive! Drama sells, just the same way that sex sells! Bloody Neighbours, Home & Away, the classic Days of our lives & The Young & The Restless have been going longer than I have been alive!

Over time you'll build your awareness muscle & notice when you have gone down the rabbit hole of over thinking. The key here is not to berate yourself when you notice, just simply notice without judgement or criticism. I often say 'Ah!', Or laugh out loud at myself & I usually snap out of it. Try it, it really helps! 5) Feeling guilty (secondary emotions) about your initial emotions (primary emotions) is putting salt in the wound.

Allow yourself to be human & acknowledge your feelings just as they are at that moment, or perhaps later if you don't have the space in the moment. They will change as you give yourself time to acknowledge them without judgement of criticism (see the pattern here). The thing with feelings is that we must allow them to process. They are energy in motion in the body. The body's way of communicating to us. If we don't process emotions they stack up over time, then we have the potential for emotional dysregulation. For some that can look like shutting down emotions altogether. We do these things regularly so that when shit does hit the fan we have developed a base level of mental & emotional fitness to support ourselves through rough patches. The commitment to self is continuing these practices through the rough patches too.

When all of these steps come together you can invoke the feeling I get from the yoga asana, Tadasana, Mountain pose.

Tadasana has a lot to offer us here. Be a mountain, strong deep grounding, wide connected base & tall peak that can see the bigger perspective (aka look through all the shit lol).

While you stand steady, unchanging, calm & clear you can hold strong & wise around the chaos around & within you. In all weather you remain connected & rooted to all around you & within you. This makes you stronger. This is your freedom & sovereignty, being present with all that life has to offer & teach you.

In time when you shift out of this heavy space, you'll take all of the sweet teachings from it, you come out of it stronger again. We don't progress when things are easy. Stress can be a beautiful catalyst for change & growth. In fact, we need it!

This blog compliments my last blog 'Do you have a nervous system', Has Stress become your new norm?' Where you'll find tips on how to support & regulate your nervous system.

. . . . . If you need any support around this please reach out to a support person or team.

I heard this on a podcast, Dr Zach Bush said "We don't heal in isolation. We heal in the context of relationships."

This was another light bulb moment for me, being the person that tries to do all the things myself. That can only get us so far. An African proverb beautifully speaks to this is too. "If you want to go fast go alone. IF you want to go far, go together."

I am fascinated about this human experience and would love to explore this with you too.

Allow all of this to be a practice, give yourself time & space especially if your mind & body are conditioned to other habits.

As always choose your own adventure. Create & curate your best life!

This is all just something to reflect on for yourself, I hope it helped. You are more than your feelings. Lets use them as communication to come into union with ourselves. We are our own best teacher! Sometimes a little support can help us to have faster "A-ha!" moments. Follow this link to my website to check out my coaching packages.

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